sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
