If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
