she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
it's like iHOP with fire
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
