he puts the penis in happiness.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
