just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
