we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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