R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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