I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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