If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
