Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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