I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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