watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
