i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
