I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
