you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
