the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i permit you to call me
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Randomize