But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
