i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Your tits are I can't wait for
...so i touched it.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Someone shattered a urinal.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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