ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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