I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
