i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
