Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
