I just cut my nipple shaving
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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