Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I forgot wine drunk hurts
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
