Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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