I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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