Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
