We named our party play list daddy issues
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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