you're like a bully in the Christmas story
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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