Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
