Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
