I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
