I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
