hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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