Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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