I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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