I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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