If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
