i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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