oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
