My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
