Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
