I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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