You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
