I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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