White coat. Heels.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
