how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
