FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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