we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
