He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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