# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
