Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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